please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
