Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
