p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We got so high we made milksteak
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
