i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
