You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
please come you make the beer taste better
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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