worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
