I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This toilet bowl is my home.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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