As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
