Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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