I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
