im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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