i think my tv is drunk
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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