he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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