it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
