Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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