i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
