so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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