You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
