good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
