scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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