My underwear smells like fireworks.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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