did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
