You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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