she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
