.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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