You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
