Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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