My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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