She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
