I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
