Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i permit you to call me
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
