I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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