There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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