4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
