the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it was like having sex with a tree stump
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I need water and some morals
Randomize
