Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
