Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize