What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize