I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
