i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
