How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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