he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize