All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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