You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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