You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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