the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
