He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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