It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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