I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
