Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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