haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize