Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
