My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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