thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
ttyl tear gas
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
