what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
