I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
