my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
