What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Let's get the cat blown out
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
