Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
