Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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