Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize