I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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